All the playing ended last friday, and it's officially work life. If you call a drama queen study and mug her lecture notes, she's going to become suicidal after Day 1. Thank god i didn't take biology, biology looks so much like isomers and molecules just looks.. complicated. I can't even pronounce those biology words. Biology words just registers in my brain as " blah blah blah".

So few days ago i flipped open my econs lecture notes, and i gave up at the 2nd page. CHIM-.- which sane person studies this kind of thing?

Because of school i have to delay drama-watching, and that alone is pissing me off. Where people get time to write drama recaps when they have jobs? I have to give up subbing the lastest 2 episodes of Athena because I'm too tired from school I nearly died!!

Now I have to make friends all over again. It seems so hard to start all over again in an unfamiliar place, but I know I will be able to adapt soon enough, although I look nothing like Kim Tae Hee and lies in "unpopular" on the popularity scale.
If I move on.. I feel bad, I feel that I abandoned all my secondary school best friends like Dorcas, Yiren, Liting, Huijie and those in the same JC but different classes. It's not like we cannot catch up and meet each other for lunch or dinner anymore, it's just.... we will definitely drift apart, even if we have those food meetings often. Because there isn't anything common to talk about, and there isn't anything we experience together anymore. Communicating with each other becomes inconvenient and awkward, coz we make more new best friends we forget about the old ones. That thought alone is frightening. I cannot imagine a day when I forget how Dorcas calls me "PoPo" all the time, and forget how Jasper suans me whenever he gets the chance.I'm afraid I will not miss them and lose all my attachments with them.

What if one day I walk past the canteen and see GH, but all I do is wave and smile at him? Maybe I won't even bother and pretend not to see him. What if I don't go "Fuck you Janet" when I do that because I don't feel guilty at all???

I always thought friends are seasonal. They come and go like seasons, and are affected by physical factors like convenience. For Eg. I stick to Michelle during orientation like she's my best friend, but i lose contact with her after orientation because she's not beside me always anymore. She don't even talk to me in FB like how we used to during orientation now. I always thought friends are like that, there's no need for me to go," OMG I miss them like crazy" because they will move on,like what I will have to do.

But this time, i find myself having difficulty letting go. The thought of forgetting my friends and not being close with them anymore cuts my heart. Maybe you can still talk to your secondary school friend now, but are you sure you can still do that next year? What will you talk about? The difference between you and your friend?